"A Pirates Life for Me"

Ahoy Matey! 

It's been over a year since I even looked at my blog. I've started this incredible journey so why not pick it back up? I'm a grad student after all I have all this free time. HA! Yeah, I've got jokes.

Since I moved from Georgia (a little over a month ago) it's probably safe to say more things have gone wrong then right.

In March got accepted to East Carolina. Where is that even? Greenville, SC? No. Greenville, NC. To be honest I applied to the school because it was the next closest school from home after UGA. You see, I want to be a Child Life Specialist and it's becoming a very competitive grad degree program to get into but very few schools offer the program. I decided to take a leap of faith and move 9 1/2 hours away from my comfort zone to follow my dreams

SO...
In August I moved.  As I was driving on I-75 North I received notification that I received an assistantship. I knew at this moment I was going to the right place! I went to orientation and in between events sat on a bench crying. I texted my friend and was informed that I could do this. I just needed to keep going. I then met the 2 other girls in my program and I was then approached that I was going to be granted a tuition remission. Again I walked out saying "Thank you God. You always provide." I was elated. I got in the car with my dad, celebrated with CFA (where else, I had to find it!) for lunch and then we moved me into my very first "big girl" apartment.

THEN CAME THE TESTS OF FAITH...
I celebrated my first birthday alone, luckily the friends I met met me outside class to yell "happy birthday!". This was a hard birthday for me. I made it through with a smile on my face. 2 days later my car was broken into. I was ready to go home. It's loud in my apartment complex, people are rude, I'm not used to so much alone time and to top it off the work is so overwhelming. I haven't slept a full night since I moved. I'm tired. I just can't catch a break. I remind myself daily "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Over and Over I would tell myself that. Why should I be afraid. I can sleep at night and feel safe because God watches over me. Always. Yesterday I cut my finger and spent some time in the ER. Not going to lie, even at 23 I was terrified to be in the hospital by myself (yes, I want to work in a hospital with children). I also found out there is a big chance (like 95%) I'm not going to be able to go home over the summer. Take a breath. "All things work together for good".  I haven't spoken to my best friend hardly at all since I moved. We're growing apart. The one thing I was most afraid of happening. I miss him. I hope I'm wrong.

My friends have been steller through all of the ups and downs. My rocks. The people I know I can turn to whenever I have a breakdown and just want to cry. I've also met people here. They are Christians and we are figuring out grad school together. See, things haven't been all bad. My assistantship professor is awesome, my professors are all great and I'm keeping up with my school work. Best thing yet, I just finished my first of many rounds of observing in the Children's Hospital and I am in LOVE with what I will be doing when I grow up. Oh my goodness I can NOT WAIT to get to that point! Thank you God for giving me this dream and leading me to where YOU wanted me to go.

I'm running again. I'm falling in love with something I never imagined possible. I may not like it here but I do believe it's where God wants me. It's time I give up pining for that life I had at UGA. I'm in a new place, starting a new phase. God is with me so I have nothing/no one to fear. I live a very blessed life. It's time I embrace the things that are happening around me. If I don't I'll just be a misplaced Georgia Bulldog my whole life. That doesn't mean I won't always bleed red&black. Because I will.

It's time I give up that dream of grad school at UGA, its time I give up that nothing bad will happen to me, people grow apart and move on, people grow closer, things happen for a reason. I can post-it note and canvas my apartment until I have paint everywhere and a cramping hand but until I actually let go and give everything to God these tests of faith will continue to overshadow the good things that are actually happening here. Good things are happening here. I have just been focused on all the negative things. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss the life I had. God's plan is better than anything I could even begin to imagine. I'm ready. Bring on the rest of my life! Arrrrrgh!

Katie 

Waiting for my "Movie Moment"

You know that moment in a movie where the two main characters decide something should change for them? Not the, "love at first sight" moment (because I'm not quite sure I buy into that concept) but the moment after all of the ups and downs and they decide their life just can't be complete without each other.  The moment they realize no one else is going to be able understand them or know them like that person does. That's the moment I crave. I don't think I'm alone in this I'm pretty sure all girls feel the same way.

The other day in class we were talking about how we as a society see that romance and love should fall into a cookie cutter perfect shape. My professor called this "Disnification" of relationships. Well, growing up with Disney and watching romantic comedies in general I have fallen into this trap. I want my happily ever after.

Who but Disney could make a smart, fun, pretty girl fall for a "horrible beast" after just a few short days in the castle? Make an average girl walk into a party, lose her shoe and meet, literally, prince charming? Heck, I lose my shoes all the time when I wear heels and you don't see me walking arm and arm with my prince.

How many romantic comedies allow the characters a proper time before they fall in love? 30 minutes into the movie (maybe 2 weeks in movie time) the characters are in love and getting married. Yeah. Right! 22 years later and I still don't have this moment.

I'm beginning to think  my chance for a happily ever after is over. Thank you for creating characters in movies that don't exist in the real world. I've said it before...romantic comedies should come with guidelines or a warning label that real life isn't like this (yes, this is a "duh" moment but really...when is the last time you watched a movie and didn't say "I wish this would happen to me").

As I sit and watch movies and think about all of this I'll just keep waiting on my movie moment! I don't really want it to be epic but just knowing that I am loved would be nice. It's not something much to ask for. I just want a moment to be my own special scene that if I was watching my life on a big screen I could say, "now that, is a movie moment!"

Anyway, that is my rant on this rainy afternoon.

What I have learned this summer!

I got spend some time today with one of my friends who I don't get to see very often. Her visit was really short, but it was nice to see her! She is the one person who I can tell anything to. We caught up and talked about our summers and life. This has been a summer of ups and downs for sure. With classes starting soon and summer ending I have realized it was actually a very good summer! I'm pretty sure I stopped my summer bucket list a few weeks in so there is nothing to update on that post. So, instead here are 10 things I learned this summer.


1. I realized I rely a lot on a daily routine
2. I'm not a night owl, but this summer I became one
3. I really don't like to sleep in (see #2, because of this.... I slept in often)
4. Babysitting is only fun 70% of the time
5. Distance doesn't matter
6. Random road trips are fun
7. Plain coffee is so much better than a cappuccino
8. Studying for the GRE is stressful and missing someone is hard
9. Worrying doesn't get you anywhere and over analyzing things makes you crazy
10. Friends are the best

Katie

5...4...3...2...ONE!

Countdowns...

Whether you are counting down to the end/start of a school year, until you leave for a vacation, until your favorite movie comes out, counting down the days til you see someone or even counting down to something you are dreading it all ends the same. That feeling of "wow, its over?" always finds away into your mind. Well, this happens to me at least.

There is nothing better than the day a countdown drops into single digits.  It becomes easier to keep track of and the excitement builds. I'm currently counting down to a couple of things and as I am writing this I'm thinking to myself... does counting down make time seem to be going faster or slower? Maybe if I didn't countdown to everything (I'm that girl who has a countdown to football that starts the beginning of summer...43 days left!) when the countdown expired I wouldn't wonder where the time had gone. Think about it though, if you start a countdown at 70 it will be at 20 before you know it. It's kind of like wishing your life/summer/school away.

Just some thoughts.

Katie

Just Some Thoughts

4 years ago I was getting ready to embark on an amazing journey and probably sitting where I am now. Orientation had been completed, my life was slowly being packed each day into boxes. I'm not going to pretend I was enjoying this process. I daily questioned if UGA was where I wanted to go. What did 5 year old me know about where I wanted to go to school and start the college chapter of my life. Turns out 5 year old me knew exactly where I would be happy....I'm a Dawg! After the doubt (which every upcoming freshman struggles with) I went through with my plans loaded the cars and took on the life of a "big girl". My parents left me, I cried when I felt my dad's heart beating fast as he was telling me goodbye, I waited until I was back inside and in the elevator and I wanted to call right then and say "COME BACK I CAN'T DO THIS". I didn't I went up to my teeny tiny room and I started my life. Anyway, the point of this post is to reflect on the fact that where I thought I would be 4 years ago is nowhere close to where I am. So here goes...


My thoughts 4 years ago

* Before my senior year I will be in a serious relationship. Getting married. Getting a job- nope. I guess I have hope of this extra year I'm taking. Maybe now before I graduate?
* Graduation date: May 2011- ummmm no
* I'm dreading this. These next few years are going to drag by- if only I could go back to Freshman year. I don't think I enjoyed the first 2 years enough. Fastest 4 years ever!
* I don't paint my nails, especially not pink!- I now paint my nails all the time especially when I'm stressed. Current color: pink 
* I won't join a sorority- false. I've now been in 2 and I love SAO and all of my sisters.
* I'm so quiet I'll never make any friends- this is a good one to prove wrong! I have opened up so much and I now have the best friends a girl could ask for 
* Pre-Med/Bio- HA! who was I kidding. That didn't work out so well
* Remember where I came from and what I believe in- check. This one stayed the same
* Graduate on time- nope. 
* Figure out who I am- still working on this one 
* Grow up-I'll always be a kid at heart but I do know when it comes time to be serious 
* I don't cry- I can't say this anymore. I have learned when crying is appropriate 
* I will never date a boy from Tech- I almost didn't go here. I guess I technically didn't date him. Yeah, I'll say that.
* I'll make my parents proud- I work hard at this everyday. 
* etc...

I love my life, I love my friends and (some days, lets be honest) I love what I'm doing with life but I have had a few regrets along the way. I won't get into those but I decide they aren't so bad after all every day. Everything happens for a reason. I know this and  I know I have used this verse before but it gets me through the days-

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

From a 17 year old girl to a almost 22 year old things may not have always gone as I had planned and I may not be doing what I sat here 4 years ago thinking about but I take comfort in the fact that my future is planned out. I may hit a few roadblocks along the way but after the detour I will find out what is waiting for me. With my faith in God anything is possible and I will get my happily ever after :)

my summer (so far)

Happy 4th of July! Obviously I'm not doing anything exciting this year because its 9pm and I'm at home writing a blog post. Its storming outside so going to the fireworks wouldn't have been a success anyway. My grandmother and my brother's girlfriend came over so we just had a family dinner +2 and made homemade ice cream. yummy in my tummy!

Here's what I've done this summer...

** Family Vaca! We went to our normal location, Myrtle Beach, SC, where we have been going since I was about 1. 7 years ago, or so, we fell in love with a place and we stay in the same condo every year its kind of like our home away from home. We vacation the first week of June, always. Its so early for a vacation and is much needed once school ends but now a month later I want to go back! It was a fun week. My brother's friend Matt, who is like my 2nd little brother, went along this year and we had a lot of fun. Give me the sand and a book with the ocean breeze and I'm a happy girl.

family

me & the boys

** Klare! My baby cousin was born. She is just the cutest little thing in the world. There is 21 years difference between us and I am no longer the only girl on that side of the family but she is just so sweet. I can't wait to watch her grow up. She was born while we were on vacation and I haven't seen her since she was 4 days old. I'm trying to schedule a play date. She is the newest little bulldog, I've already told her who the good team is :)

** Work! My summer plans were changed from trips back and forth from Athens & Rome because I got a babysitting job at home. I have only made it back to Athens twice for about 4 days total. I've worked 3 times at my job at McPhaul. I'm just glad I got to tell my babies in the 4 year old classroom goodbye the last time I was there. I'm going to really miss them! I do miss it and I miss my friends! I'm babysitting 3 kids. 2 boys and 1 girl and they are 11, 8 & 7. The boys (oldest 2) stay to themselves and their video games for the most part which leaves me and the little girl to watch tv and color and stuff. On good days they play and I sit on the couch and study and do whatever I want to. Not to mention they have a totally awesome coffee maker!

** Roadtrip! I went to Albany to see Sara & April. I have really missed them. I was with them a Sunday-Wednesday and we didn't document my journey with a single picture which is not like us at all. BUT it has been a highlight of my summer so far. I love them!

** I'm studying for the GRE. That is definitely not the highlight of my summer.Throw in VBS, church baseball and swimming adventures you have my typical summer. I haven't seen many people this summer so its been kind of boring sitting around my house. Its giving me time to think about things but its nice since I need to study. Lots & Lots of family time which is nice considering my brother moves off to college in August! I'm reading a lot and working on figuring out my life. I do love summer!

** Things to come:
-  Ansley's birthday
-  GRE 
-  Another spontaneous Athens trip (I hope)
-  My brother moves to college
-  School starting :(
-  My birthday (I'll be old)
-  Trying to decide if I want to cut my hair (I know, such a tough decision)
-  Seeing my friends!!!!!! (this will be my favorite)

A day in the life...

This is a completely random post but I'm bored and babysitting. Which is basically what my summer has consisted of. That and road trips. I'm really missing my friends this summer so last week it was nice to visit Sara & April at home and to see peeps in Athens! My little trip around Georgia was just what I needed. I love to drive and think. Anyway, as I digressed, back to the post!


Currently I am:

listening: to the tv. The kids are watching the new series on Disney Channel "My babysitter is a vampire". Which is ironic considering they are watching with their babysitter.
eating: nothing
drinking: coffee with caramel vanilla creamer... yumm
wearing: My favorite Nike running shorts and SAO My Tie t-shirt
feeling: happy
weather: gloomy. Its going to rain all day
wanting: someone to come home
needing: a really really good hug. And breakfast.
thinking: about all the stuff I have to do between now and August 15th 
missing: my friends
enjoying: summertime :)